he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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