I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize