I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
