Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
my liver is dry heaving
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
