Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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