that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
