just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
