I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
