He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
