she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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