and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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