All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
