Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize