did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
