trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
