You're completely useless in the revolution.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
