I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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