can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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