he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
