can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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