is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Even my vagina gasped.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
