He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
