Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
