WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
