It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize