Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
