If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
