does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
