Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
How's work?
Spinning.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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