no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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