he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i think i just lost a toe
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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