sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Do you still have your period?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My penis needs a shock collar
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
