we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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