I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
