I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
tell me about the eggs
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
