But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
This is my gift to your gina
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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