It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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