I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
