I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
