How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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