So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
