I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Randomize
