new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
