I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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