and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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