too bad you live with your parents still
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize