Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
