who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
