look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
This is the high leading the old right now
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
