I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
