I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
