New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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