She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm really busy with my period
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