saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize