I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
