My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
