this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
