So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
