yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
