Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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