Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
