member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize